God Bless America

Happy 4th of July.... with high hopes that I am leaving this place soon, I thought it would be fun to share a few (okay, much more than a few) things I will never miss about Cyprus! And in return are the reasons that I appreciate the country I am from and love.

1. The trash bags. They are weak. They either break or have huge holes in them.
2. The Greek Language. I don't know, maybe it's b/c the people are generally rude and that makes the language sound like nails on a chalkboard. Whatever it is, it's ugly and I will welcome the blaring of mariachi music from a bouncing pickup truck next to me.
3. The milk- Though it is no doubt very fresh, it only lasts 2-3 days and comes in very small bottles. With the way we drink milk around here it's just not very nice. Look forward to pictures of me and the kids guzzling from gallons of good ol' American cow juice in Wal-Mart.
4. The bread- It's just wrong to have to buy frozen bread brought from the UK b/c the bakery has such terrible bread. It's not soft, it's strangely toasty despite not having been toasted, it has a shelf life similar to the milk...need I say more? Wonder or Bunny Bread it is not. Heck, it's not even Great Value brand. At least Great Value brand is still tasty! And yes, I know Wonder Bread and such is full of preservatives to stay fresh longer. I don't care, it just tastes better.
5. Body odor- Yes, they sell deodorant on this lovely island. Do people use it? Not really. There's just nothing like standing behind a man who has been working with concrete all day with no deodorant. They should bottle that stuff and sell it for big money.....yuck.
6. The "hand/finger"- This is the gesture you get from Cypriots who are going to pull out in front of you whether you like it or not. It's not a friendly gesture. They hold their hand or finger out the window telling you to stop. It's obnoxious. They don't smile, they don't wave their thanks, they just bulldozer ahead.
7. The beef products- The ground beef here is just foul. It has all kinds of crunchy bits in it, they don't mince it well enough. I don't even know the last time I ate beef without thoroughly dissecting it. Honestly, I don't even know if it is beef. I have never seen a cow on this island.
8. On the subject of meat, I will not miss having to order a fresh turkey for Thanksgiving. I can't wait to be able to go to the store and buy a Butterball. There is just something about putting your name down on a list for a Turkey at the Butcher shop, and than picking it up knowing it was killed just for you.
9. Stores closing for HOURS for lunch, early on Wednesday and all day on Sunday- I can't really add to this. It's just purely inconvenient.
10. "Slowly, slowly"- It's the country's motto. I'm not kidding, it really is. And I'll be darned if they don't stick to it. Everything is slow. You need any appliance in your house fixed or simply a phone line...forget it. It could take weeks, months, or even never.
11. Topless beaches- You don't see too many topless people at the beach, but OH MY...when you do see them it is just wrong on so many levels. What you see are ancient British women who have battled hard and lost the fight with gravity. You have to keep the kids close and the hand ready to cover their eyes. Should you fail to cover their eyes by accident the giggling never ends.
12. Speedos- WHY, OH WHY? There are no age limits to these speedo nightmares. The most fun is when you see a man walking down the beach who's belly is so large you can't see the speedo. The only reason you know they are wearing one is b/c they walk away and you see it.
13. Paying for shopping carts- 2 Euro must be inserted into the shopping cart before you can push it away. While I understand it keeps people from leaving them all over the place, it's just another inconvenience. Sometimes you just don't have a 2 Euro coin on you. Sometimes you don't have two 1 Euro coins to make change with. If you do have the change and need the correct coins, you have to deal with the body odor wafting from the change man..ewwww.
14. Lack of parking lots- Cypriots park their cars wherever and whenever they please. The only actual parking lots are at the grocery stores. These people don't care if they are blocking an entire lane of vehicles, they just do it b/c they can. You are allowed in this country to drive your car right up on the curb and hop out wherever. Insanity. AND, you will rarely find a parking lot where people actually parked inside their lane. 2-3 spots are unusable b/c of one car.
15. Honking horns- Not a day goes by that I do not hear at least 10 car horns. They are very happy with their beeping. They don't care if it is your fault or not. They honk, they wave their hands around. The day I leave I am going to ride my horn all day long and laugh like a crazy loon!
16. The Cypriots- They are so unyielding in their distaste for us. I heard that they had no beef with Americans (well, definitely no USDA beef, see #7...), but they certainly don't like whatever they think I am. In fact, they are so rude that their own Minister of Tourism released a statement that Cypriots need to be nicer to tourists/temporary islanders. For a country that survives on tourism, they really need to step it up. It doesn't matter if you smile when you see someone, they scowl back. I have to give America alot of credit here, great people!! Until you aren't in America, you just don't know just how nice the people actually are.
17. Toliet Paper... the fact that you can't flush it and you have to throw it in the waste basket or deal with the consequences (sewage backup) is just nauseating.
18. Scooters, all the teenagers and old folks ride them around town. They think they are in cars and they fly out of nowhere. I had an old man literally run into the back of me because he wasn't paying attention and fell off his scooter (I have to admit, I giggled even though I felt bad for him).
19. Seatbelts. Most of these people don't put thier kids in them or in a carseat. I see kids as young as 2 climbing around the cars, or babies sitting on their parents laps. Craziest thing is that usually the parents are buckled in safe and sound. Makes me sick.
20. The fashion. It appears I have traveled back in time to the 80's, I am talking mullets (girls and guys).
21. It is unfortunate that no one here has been taught how to queue in line. They herd, like their sheep.
22. Personal space. There is none. Most times in these "herds" called queue's you are smashed in between a few people who like I said before have bad body odor and they think that the closer they stand to you the quicker they will be served. This is not good for people who are a bit chloserphobic (as myself). There is nothing like having someone smashed up against your back and your front, especially in the heat!
23. Laundry. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing laundry but I do mind doing it when it takes FOREVER. Our washers here take at least 90 minutes (for the short cycle) and the dryers take 150 minutes and sometimes even then they aren't dry so I have to do it for another 150 minutes. Honestly... I can't wait to get back to the states!
24. The women. Who wants to feel like they have to get all dressed up to go grocery shopping? Anyone? Well apparently that is how it should be done. Now I am not talking just having makeup on and your hair done, they go all out. Heels, dresses, you name it they are dolled up even at 8 am! I usually go in my gym clothes and get looks that could kill.
25. Adding on to that... who cleans their windows every morning at 5 am? My nieghbors that's who. Every morning bright and early you can look outside and see all of the women outside cleaning windows, and sweeping and mopping their driveways (yes I said mopping). If only they cared as much about keeping their country as clean as their yards and houses.
26. It's dirty. People will drive with their trash bags and just throw them out the window onto the street. It is disgusting.
27. The fact that you have to go to 3 or 4 different stores to get everything on your list. This country could really benefit from a Walmart.
28. Having to actually go pay your bills. You can't pay them online or through the mail, you have to drive to all the different places, phone, electricity, water and pay them. To top it off they all close every day at 1 pm so you have to do it first thing in the morning. It is so inconvenient.
29. Air Conditioning. There isn't much of it anywhere here. Most of the shops aren't air conditioned and if they are they don't turn it on. Explains a lot of the Body odor issues.
30. Cats! This Island is known as The Island of the Cats for a reason. There are more stray cats than there are people. I have never been a big fan of the animal anyway but after living here I am turned off to cats for life. Try enjoying a nice lunch at a cafe on the beach (or any restaurant for that matter) and imagine being harrassed by nasty gangly strays meowing at your feet for your food. They are everywhere. Most of these cafe's allow the cats to roam around inside (talk about unsanitary). Disgusting!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful for this experience. I am grateful because mostly what it has taught me is how wonderful America is. I never would have realized it unless I left. I have learned that as American's we take a lot of things for granted. It really is the greatest country on earth and I cannot wait to get back home! God Bless America!